


Hey Mr. Airplane

by BangMeBucks, ikonichiwa



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Long Distance Relationships, M/M, casual reference to other members but double b centric, iKON didn’t debut after mix and match bc reasons, letter writing, this is gonna be a slow burn folks buckle up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-06 02:02:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20499074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BangMeBucks/pseuds/BangMeBucks, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikonichiwa/pseuds/ikonichiwa
Summary: Life was never exactly the same after Mix & Match. iKON didn’t exist. Everyone went back home. It wouldn’t have been right if Team B didn’t debut together, so they left together. Time passed. And everyone was happy. Not so much. Bobby was an ocean away, and Hanbin still loved him.





	1. Chapter 1

Hanbin’s breath was forced, his thoughts cutting sharp and quick as the final members came on the screen. Seven. But not all of the original six made it. They made a pact. 

“We aren’t going to be iKON without all of Team B. Yunhyeong worked as hard as the rest of us. Even harder without his dad. If he’s not in, no one is.” Bobby posed the ultimatum, Hanbin too fraught with stress. But YG didn’t listen. Nor did he really seem to care in Hanbin’s eyes. 

Yang didn’t care. So, when it finally came around to casting, Hanbin called his bluff. He walked out on that stage, did his final performance. The crowd melted into one, his mother’s voice a faint echo. When the members were announced? Hanbin threw the mic into the audience. Screamed. Cried. He jumped the stage and wrapped his hands around that CEO’s neck and—

*

The dream never changes. But it’s been a couple of months now, and Hanbin is moved on. Or is pretending to. The music is still there, and probably will be until the day he dies. Hanbin cards his fingers through his hair, trying to finish these last lyrics before he sends them off to Jiwon. After Mix and Match, Jiwon packed his bags and moved back, saying he missed his family. And who can blame him? But they still wrote actual letters, to Hanbin’s insistence. ‘There is nothing like the anticipation of expecting a handwritten letter,’ he wrote Jiwon one day. Secretly, he didn’t want to forget anything about him. Not yet anyways. The paper smelled like coffee, and the cologne he’s worn since they met, too stubborn to find a new one. His Korean is still shaky at times, and Jiwon’s handwriting reflects that, but the crooked Hangul makes Hanbin’s heart thump and twist with every word. 

Tapping his pencil on the page, Hanbin tries to focus in on the lyrics again, before abandoning his efforts. He methodically stretches, popping his fingers before leaning back and sighing dramatically. The emotions aren’t what Hanbin is looking for this time, instead of sounding poetic and reflective, he feels like he’s creeping around the same tired trope in music. Deciding on another cup of coffee, he paces the small apartment as it brews. 

Jiwon has a new label in the United States, and he’s going to make it big under the name Bobby, just like he promised his mom. But his music sometimes lacks the edge he wants, so he asks Hanbin for help, begrudgingly at least. Hanbin knows the real reason why he asks: all Hanbin writes is what's happening to him. Whether it’s a day where he misses Jiwon, tries to call him only to get the voicemail machine. Or angry-- about not making it big, or angry Jiwon left, or just sad. He writes the truth in his lyrics. Even as he stays up late, he does it because they don’t want to stop talking yet.

Hanbin pours the fresh coffee into his favorite mug, the handle broken and reglued after a late night in the studio. The smell wakes him up again, clock flashing 4:29. Mindlessly, he hums the melody for this batch of lyrics, and watches out the window. He could easily be one of those people, rushing in the cold to their early morning jobs. But instead, he produces music under Psy Nation, one of those names that gets a little credit on the back of the album. It’s not satisfying anymore, his chest aches with the desire to be on the big stage again. A drunk stumbles down the sidewalk beneath his apartment, the flash of jewelry catching the streetlights. His laugh echoes and it reminds Hanbin of Jiwon. 

The last night he saw Jiwon, they performed at a big club in Seoul. Double B was their underground name (that Yang didn’t learn about until it was too late) and Jiwon was hell bent on rapping one last time with Hanbin. It was a remix, a song popular in the states at the time. Just in case YG didn’t approve of a stage song for Mix and Match.

_ If I was an old-school, fifty pound boombox, would you hold me on your shoulder, wherever you walk, would you turn my volume up in front of the cops, and crank it higher every time they told you to stop, and all I ask is you don’t get mad at me, when you have to purchase mad D batteries, appreciate every mixtape your friends make. _

_ If I could only find you a note to make you understand, I’d sing it softly in your ear and grab you by the hand, keep it stuck inside your head, like your favorite tune, and know my hearts a stereo that only plays for you. _

_ My heart’s a stereo, its beats for you so listen close, hear my thoughts in every note. Make me your radio, turn me up when you feel low, this melody was meant for you, just sing along to my radio _

The crowd ate that shit up, and there was nothing Hanbin could do but smile like a fool. Even now, the memory makes him tear up, his last true show a big Fuck You to YG. Hitting play on that recording pulled up on YouTube, Hanbin feels the stage presence Jiwon-- no, Bobby had. Gold chains, clean shoes and a snapback, God those snapbacks made women cry and men jealous. In all reality, Hanbin expected nothing less from this persona. 

The last words Jiwon said to him, before he boarded the plane, “Don’t worry Hanbin. I won’t forget you. You’re like some song on the radio. Everyone knows you, they just don’t know your name. Just you wait for me to catch up, ok?” With his impish bunny grin, and his squinted eye smile, Jiwon meant every word, even if he couldn’t always be so tactful. This is also the man who, in trying to compliment Hanbin’s lyricism, called a melodramatic love song ‘sexy.’

But tonight, this song wouldn’t be sexy. Melodramatic? Maybe, Hanbin hadn’t decided for sure. Tonight definitely is missing what you could have been, asking someone to wait. “Wait For Me.” Hanbin picks up his pencil, and he writes.

_ He keeps smiling on and on, as if it’s nothing. Time holds onto you as it ticks away. In my dreams, I’m with you as I hold your hand. But cruelly, I say goodbye when the sun rises, as my pillow. Oh you and me, we’re under the same sky but we can’t meet. But believe in me, I’ll be there for you. Wait, because I’ll go to you right now. Wherever you are, I’ll go. Wait for me, hey, time is ticking faster. I’ll run against time and go to you. Wait for me, so my heart can reach him. _

_ _ _ I can’t put anything in my head, my eyes close at the thought of you. I let out a sigh and put my hands behind my head. Everything seems the same, it’s like my life folded in half. You still look handsome in my dreams, it’s like my heart stopped. _

_ _ _ I want to look into your face under the dazzling sunlight. And tell you, thank you for making me live as the me right now. I missed you, your voice, your face, even your soft breathing. I won’t go anywhere now, I’ll be by your side, even until the moment the world ends. Believe me, I’ll be there for you. _

_ _ _ Time passed and the spring flowers have bloomed. I’m letting go of the cold days, I remember, I’m only inside of you. I can only breathe when I’m next to you. I’m ready for this, you alone are enough for me. I ain’t gonna leave, I promise you.  _

_ _ _ Wait for me, hey, time go faster. Wait, because I’ll go to you right now, I’ll run against time and go to you. Wait for me. _

The pencil at the top of the page is smudged, but still legible as Hanbin folds the lyrics and scrawling Wait for Me in sloppy English on top, and tucking it into a yellow envelope, with his letter

“Jiwonnie,

How are the states treating you this month? I know its a stupid question, but you never told me much about them. Do you remember the song we did back in the day? Someone posted the video again and I couldn’t let it go. Ten points to Kim if you can read it this time, but I think it has potential. This is the part of our letters where I tell you I’m fine, I’m making money and I have someone new-- We both know I’m lying now. Partly anyways. I am fine, but that’s about it. Boss is being stingy with the money like always, so the studio is freezing cold but forty bucks and a space heater solved my problem for now. It’s not like when you were here, huddling underneath Junhwe’s stolen blanket with our feet next to the overheated monitor. 

“I don’t know how to say this. But I miss you. I miss us sitting here in the studio and laughing about your dumb typos, fighting over Pringles and the good headphones. I miss seeing you in the dorm, trying to get you out of bed to do our schedules. I kinda hated how you never really kept your part of the room clean, but I’m choosing to ignore that for now.”

“I miss your stupid smile in the morning after a concert. I miss holding your hand in the van on the way back to the dorms and pretending that we’re gonna be big someday. Record my song, make it go big. Just don’t forget to credit me. No one here seems to remember that I write a lot. I’m not ready to have my name disappear from the industry yet. Till next time, Hanbin.”

He shakily signs off, and seals the letter before he regrets writing anything. Tomorrow he’ll send it, with a text letting Bobby know there’s a song coming. 


	2. Chapter 2

It takes a while from letters from Korea to arrive. The texts from Hanbin always keep Jiwon on edge, waiting for a sign of something more. The last one was a couple of months ago. When he asked when the next letter was coming, Jiwon would always text him “when the albums done.” 

Well today was the day. Jiwon leaned against the balcony railing, the autumn air soothing his nerves. He mailed Love and Fall to Hanbin a couple weeks ago, and if the magical mail gods didn’t lose it, it would arrive today. He made the CD cover by hand, the blue and gold lettering made out of cheap paint. It looked like shit but he hoped that Virginia charm made it endearing. Besides the track list scrawled in sharpie, and the letter, it’s relatively empty. 

In the beginning it was hard. He was still broken from two survival shows and his family was an ocean away. But there was no amount of drinking or crying to his mother late at night to cope with the fact that he left his new music family behind. The music in him died a little, and now that he had started his own new label, SUrF Studios brought him back from the edge.

Hanbin asked him to be happy, to pursue his dream. And so on the inside cover of Love and Fall, Jiwon wrote the lyrics to the first song he wrote on the album. 

_ I ran crazily, not knowing I became an adult, Trying to pretend I live without worries so my mom won’t get worried, When I get home, I wash up, turn off the lights and lay down, But now reality is heavier than dreams, So I can’t sleep, so I sing.  _

_ In the mirror, It’s not the me I used to know, I want to chase after my dreams, But responsibility weighs down on my shoulders _

_ I wanna runaway.  _

The anxiety of waiting was killing Jiwon, as he sipped his drink, he checked his phone nervously. The last text he sent out was “love u no metter what” to Hanbin. He hasn’t gotten the package yet. More importantly the letter inside the package. Jiwon sucks at writing letters. He doesn’t have the penmanship that Hanbin does, and his feelings are like a pair of earbuds. Always tangled up and don’t really work most of the time. But it’s a part of the game he plays. He bought a pack of plain notebook paper the first day after he got home, simply because Hanbin jokingly told him to write.

“Binnie yah, it’s been too long. You told me to write a song about you but I couldn’t stop at one. I think you’ll like Tendae the best. I don’t know what I’m doing out here, starting a label. I’m recording out of a small apartment I got with the money from Show Me the Money. Depending how Love and Fall goes, I’m gonna need an experienced musician here. I have an opening too. We need a rapper that can actually master his music. We need someone like you.”

Jiwon remembered thinking about sending plane tickets with this- grateful he didn’t. He didn’t want to pressure Hanbin into the public eye anytime soon, and airports were the worst. If he said no, Jiwon couldn’t afford it. After a rough studio session, he went off. No one seemed to understand what he was trying to do with the music. They didn’t understand the story like Hanbin. 

“I want you to come to the States. Just for a vacation. The nights alone here get cold. There’s an empty room in the studio, and we can make space in my apartment. I don’t know how to say this. But I need you here. It’s empty. I hate how the studio door slams and I know it’s not you. I hate how I always have to listen to a song a thousand times when I know you can hear the mistake after a single listen. I hate YG for breaking Double B apart and I hate the fact that I can’t make music the way I did with you.”

“You know me better than I know myself. You held my hand in the car ride to Show Me the Money. When I was nervous, man you pushed me to go further. It’s like that. I’ve got everything I need now, but it’s missing something. It’s missing you. Come back. It’s not home anymore. It’s not home without you.We promised to stay together but now I know that distance makes people love stronger. That’s what some poet said somewhere.” 

The letter ends here. Jiwon doesn’t feel like he needs to sign it, or even really end it. Hanbin knows what he’s saying. He folded the letter, once, twice, until it made a paper airplane. It’s something he did with his grandpa. Whenever he wrote a letter, grandpa would tell him to fold it into a plane and it’ll fly until it decided it wanted to go home. And Jiwon threw it with all his might, and then he would get a letter plane to come back to him a couple days later. One day, he asked where the planes went. To his disappointment, they went nowhere. But he always folded them up, and even though he didn’t fly them anymore, he knew the plane was going home. 

Jiwon smiles at the fond memory, and decides to go back inside. The day was still relatively young, and he’s gotten everything done. He casually puts his glass in the sink, and heads into the back bedroom. The orange sunlight shined onto his pillow, beckoning him to lay down. Shaking his head, Jiwon decides to go out, ignoring the temptation.

It’s a nice day down on the docks, the crowds generous. So when Jiwon shows up with a guitar on his back and hat in hand, it only takes a couple of songs before a crowd gathers around. 

_ I found myself dreaming, In silver and gold, Like a scene from a movie, That every broken heart knows, We were walking on moonlight, And you pulled me close, Split second and you disappeared, And then I was all alone. _

The couples pull each other closer, lacing their hands. Some look as happy as Hanbin did when they were together. Jiwon just smiles, and keeps playing. 

_ I woke up in tears, With you by my side, A breath of relief, And I realized, No, we're not promised tomorrow _

_ So I'm gonna love you, Like I'm gonna lose you, I'm gonna hold you, Like I'm saying goodbye, Wherever we're standing, I won't take you for granted _

_ 'cause we'll never know when, When we'll run out of time, So I'm gonna love you, Like I'm gonna lose you, I'm gonna love you, Like I'm gonna lose you _ .

Jiwon stands at the ends and bows, giving him a second to wipe the tears from his eyes. The crowd tosses money into the hat at his feet, before going back to their lives. 

An elderly woman hobbles up as Jiwon puts his guitar back into his case. “That was a really heartfelt song.”

“Thank you ma’am.” He smiles, but it barely reaches his eyes.

She places a bony hand on his shoulder, offering some sage advice. “I remember when I loved someone like that. I got to marry him, and I’m grateful I knew him for 60 years. We didn’t have forever, but I hope you get to find your forever like I did.”

Jiwon takes her story in for a second, before patting her hand gently. “Thank you. I hope I get to see him again.” The old woman accepts this, and she walks away. Jiwon watches for a second, and he’s grateful. It’s harder to love with distance. Sometimes he just needs the reminder that it can be done. 

His phone buzzes in his back pocket, and the two weeks of suspense is gone in an instant. 

_ Binnie: I just got the package!!! haven’t even opened it yet!!!  _

_ Binnie: thank you kimbap <3 _

_ Binnie: it’s three am but I’ll tell you what I think of it once I listen. I think I already love it  _

With his heart lighter, Bobby walks around his town for the rest of the evening, before going back to his apartment. As he gets ready for bed, he shoots Hanbin one last text. 

  
_ Kimbap: glad u love it binnie. goodnight I guess. love u no metter what _

**Author's Note:**

> yee haw y’all this is gonna be a long one. I can’t reallt promise dates on update but a friend and I have had this idea for a solid 9 months. And so now we cry.


End file.
